By Lin Brehmer

Writing to Lin’s Bin, a guy asked for advice and since my last ‘first date’ was in 1973, I had to do research. One of the dangers of a first date at a concert is picking the wrong band.

I have enjoyed canvassing co-workers who have shared their worst first date at a concert experiences. I’m dying to hear what bands contributed to your worst first date ever. Some bands are too loud or too misogynistic.

Some bands are so cultish that you’re just not going to find a date that shares your fascination with, say, The Captain Matchbox Whoopee Band. Although, they were awesome.

Nickelback- The numero uno worst first date band chosen by the professional women in the offices of WXRT. Not sure a second date would make this concert experience better. But how would you find out?

Sigur Ros- As cool as Icelandic spring water, Sigur Ros has quite a large following around the world, but their crystalline ambient ministrations would send many first dates running out the door.

NRBQ-At one time, the greatest rock and roll band in the world, but they were not always audience friendly. Quirky and confrontational, NRBQ brought a touch of Andy Kaufman to their live performances. Not for a first date. You only took the woman you were going to marry.

Steve Vai- He’s played with everyone. He has a world of talent. His guitar pyrotechnics will drive your date up a wall.

Gentle Giant- A prog rock band that experimented with wacky time signatures. I excitedly purchased their CD catalog a few years ago and put “Working All Day” in my wife’s car CD player. She pulled the car over after a few seconds and announced that the car would not be moving forward until The Gentle Giant stopped. An acquired taste. And they knew it. One of their albums was called Acquiring The Taste.

Iggy Pop-With or without The Stooges, Iggy remains one of the most kinetic live performers I’ve ever seen. But he can be a little scary. Not the way to introduce yourself to a new friend.

Bjork- Her famous wardrobe notwithstanding, Bjork’s avian chirping would scatter a flock of first dates.

Jeff Beck-Jeff is god, but not everyone is prepared for that level of illumination. See Jeff by yourself. You can be properly prayerful.

Metallica and Lou Reed- Their new album together has been savaged by the critics. Metallica fans are ready to riot. If they tour together, how about you check out this new track before you try to impress someone you’ve never dated.

Insane Clown Posse- Uh, that’s just a no.

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Comments (14)
  1. Mark Krier says:

    probably too obscure to make this list, but i took my future wife to see mccluskey at schuba’s. that particular date didn’t last very long, but fortunately she was able to overlook my indiscretion.

    obligatory hilarious-but-NSFW video clip —

    1. Mark Krier says:

      LOL apologies — “mclusky”. it’s been some years.

  2. Juan Anaya Jr. says:

    The mars volta is by far the worst first date band ever!! Even the short sets are energy sucking!!

    1. Lin Brehmer says:

      Excellent choice. Almost made my list. See them. Enjoy them. Don’t take a date.

  3. Ted S. says:

    The Stone Temple Pilots can be tricky, especially if Scott Weiland falls off stage.

  4. Mike W. says:

    I had a friend who’s boyfriend had a band. I took a woman to see them for our first date. Turns out the band, and it’s opener, were both death metal bands. They were loud, obnoxious and awful and I just wanted to sneak out the bathroom window and get lost. But I was stuck and I had to suffer through each growl for four sets (two by each band).

    How did the date go? It turns out that the woman is now my wife of six years. Go figure, right?

  5. Steve Vai is only a bad choice if your date doesn’t like that type of virtuoso style, which, I do. I’ve taken several of *my* first dates to see Dream Theater. ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. Pami Toll says:

    How do you know that the band made it the worst first date? Some first dates are doomed to be bad anyway.. if you want to hear a great band in early December in Chicago.. Contact me and Ill sent you the event link.. For some Fresh, Original , hot Chicago Rock! pami toll on facebook.
    Im in the south burbs.. but the Show is in the City!

  7. Cameren Lee says:

    I’m a freshman in high school, and I love Gentle Giant. This is why I call my music collection “the world’s other foolproof birth-control method.” Yeah, I have lot of Prince, but it’s literally sandwiched in between Primus and PiL.
    And don’t get me started on Van der Graaf Generator…

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