Surviving Daylight Saving Time

And if you work someplace dangerous like a steel mill or a radio station, your broken circadian rhythm could leave you with perilous inattention.

March 10, 2020
Surviving Daylight Saving Time
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Denise asked,

What is your strategy for surviving the change to Daylight Saving Time?

 

Early spring is the first crocus in the cold mud.

It’s the sudden wind from the south in early march.

The promise of life and light.

And in our most hopeful season we face the rudest awakening.

Daylight Saving Time.

Good intentions with the harshest resolution.

The winter has dried out our bodies. Our skin has the feel of a cicada husk and before we can feel like mammals again, we are told to lose an hour and spring ahead.

On a Saturday night the change is an annoyance, but by Sunday night we pray to save that hour.

We kneel and say,

What is an hour to the masters of the universe? What is an hour to the vibrations of the heavenly bodies?

The galaxy is indifferent.

There was a time when my alarm would erupt at an inopportune moment. A time when only drunks dare walk the empty streets. And when daylight saving time moved someone to cheerfully remind us to spring ahead, I would want to put that town crier in the trunk of a car.

Spring ahead. Do you have any idea the chills that gives people with, ya know, jobs?

Erasing an hour of our lives moves us beyond the margins into madness.

What’s the big deal? Why the melodrama?

Maybe it’s the 23% rise in heart attacks.

The higher incidence of strokes.

The people sideswiping your car in the parking lot and if you say, hey what the hell are you doing, they respond obliviously,

Hey man, what’s up?

And if you work someplace dangerous like a steel mill or a radio station, your broken circadian rhythm could leave you with perilous inattention.

How do we survive daylight saving time?

We consult WebMD which is where I go when I want to find out that the crick in my neck is possibly a form of meningitis that is swelling my brain until I fall into a coma which, in an election year, might not be the worst thing.

WebMD advises us to get more sleep

Does anyone anywhere know anyone anywhere who is getting this ‘plenty of sleep?’

Did you know that carbohydrates make it easier to fall asleep?

Carbohydrates. Like pizza or garlic bread or garlic knots or bread or linguini or gnocci. This is scientific fact we can get behind to solve our daylight saving time issues.

Of course doctors will also tell you that consumption of alcohol inhibits our ability to sleep so the idea of a big plate of pasta with Sunday gravy without a glass of red wine seems unlikely.

I know what you’re saying. It’s only an hour.

And when you think about it, we waste time like a billionaire wastes campaign commercials.

Why is this particular hour so precious?

Because this lost hour is the one that should shake us from our contemporary fever dream.

This is the hour that should remind us that we are not among the immortals.

This is our hour of springtime reckoning when we should look in the mirror and admit every hour is precious.

Every minute is like a guitar solo we can’t get back.

How will I survive Daylight Saving Time?

By facing the symphony of life and hoping to hear every note before the conductor takes a bow.

 

 

Lin's Bin is a feature heard Mondays at 11:15am and 6:15pm. If you have a question, go to here: https://wxrt.radio.com/contest/lins-bin-march-2020