Why Is Love So Complicated?

Because love begins with the most dangerous confession.

February 14, 2020
My mother and father

Why is love so complicated?

Look at all those confessions on Facebook.

When people choose the status of their love life, many find it easiest to check off

"It’s complicated."

We ask many questions of love. Why is it sad?

Why is love so hard to describe?

Why is love so complicated?

Because love begins with the most dangerous confession.

It’s an emotional supplication that leans on expectation

It’s like standing on the deck of a small boat in stormy seas. It’s hard to keep your footing.

There is no formula. No equation can sort out the calculus of human affections.

We spend our lives trying to eliminate complications. We just want to get from waking up to falling asleep without a breakdown on Metra or a long conference call at work or a leaky water heater.

This is a voyage in search of safe harbor. This is an emotional odyssey that only the best songwriters can map.

Yet, we never hesitate to entreat complications when we find ourselves smitten by a comely face.

Love is complicated because human beings are complicated. We are a hot stew of psychological collisions with parents and siblings and friends and enemies. Fear and uncertainty hidden behind a carefully managed shell of self-assurance.

There is a purity to this honest gesture, an invitation to humility. All I am. All I have. All I hope is yours. And with a whisper or a shake of the head, you are either communing with the clouds or sinking out of sight. Why is love so complicated?  It is not love that is complicated but the absence of love that turns our faith into ballads.

Love would be the rare condition where complications have fallen away.

Which is just another way of saying don’t forget Valentine’s Day.